My short round on vacation

I looked up short round and it says it means "firecracker".  That's what my little E is.  I love her more than anything and just getting back from vacation yesterday it causes me to pause, and think. I really enjoyed spending time with her.  Some moments seemed to be very difficult but as I said to my mom and dad in a moment of clarity, " it may be tough and it may not be the way I envisioned but Ellie is not at daycare and I am not at work and I get to spend so much time with her this week and that's what matters".  Side note, my parents, who are amazing people and even better parents and grandparents,  came with us for the 2nd year in a row and we could neither have done it ourselves nor would it have been even close to as special. 

Purpose in life

I have wrestled mentally with the thought that my life has been a failure at times. Mostly professionally because I just can't seem to find the company or climate that's will make me feel like I am doing something and am successful. At times I equate that to thinking I am unworthy and a piece of crap.   But the thing is, I had a thought today.   I remembered a quote that I had heard saying the 2 greatest days and a person's life are the day they're born and the day they find out why.   In my life, I will not think of myself as a failure because I am the daddy of a beautiful baby girl that though I did not much of the creating, I was part of it and I love her more than anything at all. She is why I'm here and if that turns out to be the only reason I am here, that's enough.