Grandpa Fruit

Today is a day that I have feared for a very long time. My grandpa fruit passed away in his sleep last night. My grandma found him this morning. I'm heartbroken. He was an instrumental figure in my life. My whole life. I love him.  We had a similar way at looking at things sometimes.  Growing up we didn't like shopping but we were there in Ft Wayne at Target, shopping with the family.   He and I would get popcorn and go out to the van and listen to dammit ray. Or ray stevens. 

I feel horrible.  Most of everyone says that's great he went in his sleep on his terms.  He wouldn't have wanted it any other way.  I would have liked to say goodbye.  I got to busy or wrapped up or whatever and didn't call him on his birthday this year.  Everyone is telling me not to worry about it and that isn'twhat he would remember about me but that's what I remember.  I messed up and i can't wish him happy birthday ever again.

I love you grandpa and I already miss you so much.  I can't believe I won't be able to talk to you again.

someone just turned one

Ellie had her first birthday this week and her very first birthday party today.  She is normally a pretty happy little girl and she was on both of these days this week.  Julie and I were able to take off on Wednesday, the 27th, to just be with her on her birthday.  Didn't do anything too crazy, just spent time together and worked on getting some things done before the party today.  The party went very well and she did an amazing job.  Not too sure about the smash cake she did make a pretty decent mess but didn't each a lot of it.  She really seemed to enjoy her guests, family, and several of her gifts she received.  And when I say gifts, I mean the pricetag on her big bird she got.  She did really seem to take to her baby doll that Julie had gotten her with Ellie embroidered on it. 

Ellie's waking up process

Ellie's wake up process from time to time reminds me of a prison movie where the inmates are knocking their metal cups against the bars.  She does that, but with her pacifier. 

Not much of a talker

I've never been one to be much of a talker. I've left that up to other members of my family and it's worked out pretty well up until now. But I learned something having a baby, I tend to talk a lot more than I used to. Most of the talk doesn't make much sense but it's conversation between Ellie and myself. She doesn't understand what I'm saying and I don't understand what she's saying but we have great time together and meaningful conversations.

Moving

Today is the last Sunday I will spend at my first home that I bought. It makes me very sad knowing this because I have made so many happy and sad memories here at this home. This is where I brought my daughter home to her first home. This is where I was living when I married my wife. My best friend. The sadness comes when I think about this home was broken into and that's taken quite a bit away from the happiness of this home for me. I'm going to miss the familiarity and when I say home, this place.  I do not love the city I live in but I have loved this home. It has been more good than bad to me and for that I will forever be grateful. I love this place and I will miss it. But I truly hope that we have made the correct decision and our next home is even better than our first home.

Damn Move

We have recently purchased a house in Newburgh, and I am enjoying the process of packing and messing with the current owners of the house and their bullshit.  When I say enjoying , I am being very sarcastic.

Daycare looming

My baby starts daycare tomorrow. I feel sick.